Who am I

As work becomes more stressful and the girls tax me daily. I stuggle to remember who I am or what I like and dislike. I no longer have hobbies or "things" I do. I try to run two days a week and that is a struggle. Mark and I have alternating days ( I get T and TH and he gets MWF...Fair huh?) My problem is that I am usually so tired I prefer to sleep in rather than drag my ass out of bed in the dark to run the streets of the northside amongst the rats and homeless men urinating in the street.

The past few nights have confused me even more. Tonight, I am so shamed of myself. I was innocently skimming through www.estsy.com (the best site ever!!) and channel surfing Oh, I should further hide my head deep in the sand as I am about to post something that breaks one of my rules....discussing politics. rrhh...mumble..mcaneljlkjblahblah..republihiohoih..vention. Understand that?

I am watching the Republican National Convention. (not without alcohol) I have never watched any convention. I have been a Liberatarian since I was 18 for many reasons. (won't discuss) I usually refuse to discuss politics because its too personal for me and frankly not worth the argument. Truly, I don't believe the President runs the country or makes the real choices as a matter of fact...they are glorified public speakers...but thats another blog. He is an F-ing war hero for Christ's sake!

Is it the wine or the choice of Palin? So smart of him to make that choice...ballsy yet desparate all the same. Until he chose her as running mate I was not interested in the following either party (nor was I going to vote for Nader again (2x) ) I don't agree with Palin on many issues, (ie Pro Choice mainly) But it may be her simpleness that intrigues me. Or is it the akwardness of her? She is real, her family f's up and she has a lot of kids. As a mother I want someone who is more like me in the White House. Someone who has snot on the back of their suit when they go to work and cookie crumbs in their lap. (*note I have not said that I would vote for them, at this point.....I am listening)

Moving beyond that mess, I have something even more embarrassing to reveal. I have been drinking more often then usual. That is not the embarrasing part, parents need to drink in order to survive their jungle with the wild animals. What I do when I am drinking is the problem.

Mark has been away just a few nights in the past two weeks and we had some nights of Sushi and Scrapbooking. Yes, how far I have fallen. So the kids are sleeping I am full of things my cat wouldn't eat, my bed full of tattered pieces of paper and half a bottle of wine.....and I am watching (oh the shame)

Clueless

Twice not I have caught myself doing this. And I mean not just watching once but twice in a row until I pass out, I mean fall asleep. There is something about that dorky guy who wins the girl that has me glued to the TV. Its like I don't know what is going to happen or that they are really making over that Britney chick. No, its all the stupid quotes: "Ms. Stoger, that machine is a lawsuit waiting to happen", or "she is full of Monet, something that looks ok from far away, but up close it’s just a big old mess." or the plain "whatever". The famous W way before George made it fashionable

Help me please!!!!! First Clueless then Convention. What is wrong with me. Has some type of ghost traveler decided to try to take over my body as their tomb. Is this really me? Who is me. Me doesn't really exist. Me is mommy first, work second, volunteer dutys next, poor husband getting the cast off pity attention when he whines. Oh well, lets open another bottle.